![]() Twenty years of research involving more than 100,000 people reveals that the key skill of effective leaders, teammates, parents, and loved ones is the capacity to skillfully address emotionally and politically risky issues. – Talking to a colleague about personal hygiene problems The law of crucial conversationsĪt the heart of almost all chronic problems in our organizations, our teams, and our relationships lie crucial conversations-ones that we’re either not holding or not holding well. – Asking in-laws to stop interfering in family life – Give a negative assessment of performance – Talk to a colleague who keeps the information or resources to himself or herself – Confronting a friend about a substance abuse problem – Talking to a team member who is not living up to his or her commitments – Resolve support or visitation issues with a former spouse – Approaching a boss who does not respect his own safety or quality rules – Gives feedback to the boss about his behavior ![]() – Talking to a colleague who behaves in an offensive manner and makes inappropriate comments The choice is ours, we can face them and handle them poorly or we can face them and handle them well. Most of the time, we simply avoid crucial conversations. Countless generations of genetic shaping drive humans to handle crucial conversations with flying fists and fleet feet, not intelligent persuasion and gentle attentiveness. That’s because emotions don’t exactly prepare us to converse effectively. When conversations turn from routine to crucial, we’re often in trouble. We use all kinds of tactics to dodge touchy issues. We’ve become masters at avoiding tough conversations. They’re the day-to-day conversations that affect your life.ĭespite the importance of crucial conversations, we often back away from them because we fear we’ll make matters worse. The crucial conversations the authors are referring to are interactions that happen to everyone. GEORGE BERNARD SHAWĬrucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High is an amazing book by Al Switzler, Joseph Grenny, and Ron McMillanĬrucial Conversation by definition is a discussion between two or more people where (1) stakes are high, (2) opinions vary, and (3) emotions run strong. The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. Chapter 1: What’s a crucial conversation? And who cares?
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